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Titties 10/19/2017
BB ))B)You Know You're Getting
Fat when Your woman spends all Night Sucking your Titis.
1 Comments, 14 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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Phone rings 10/16/2017
-Alcoholic Anonymous there? -Yes brother, how can I help? -You are about to save my life brother. How do I make the perfect
mojito?
1 Comments, 31 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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Ice Cream 10/15/2017
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parkour.
<br><br>
Slowly and painfully, he pulled himself up onto a stool.
<br><br>
The waitress greeted him, asking how can she can help him.
<br><br>
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. <br><br>
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' <br><br>
'No, ...
3 Comments, 63 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
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Which Hair 10/15/2017
A lady is working hard in her office when a co-worker tells
her that her hair smells good. Immediately, she goes to
her boss and tells him that she has been sexually harassed.
<br><br>
"How?" asks the boss. <br><br>
"He said my hair smells good, " replied the
lady. <br><br>
"Wouldn't you take that as a compliment?" ...
1 Comments, 70 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Beaver 10/11/2017
One day a 7 year old boy was playing in his grandmother's
yard when suddenly he felt the urge to pee. So he ran into
the house and burst into the bathroom where is grandmother
had just walked out of the shower. He stood there for a few
seconds and asked grandma what's that between your
legs? She simply replied it's a beaver. So he went back
outside to play. Later that evening once he was home he ...
2 Comments, 229 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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Woman buys a parrot 10/11/2017
A woman decides to buy a parrot at the local pet store. The
store owner explains the parrot was a rescue from the brothel
that got closed down in a raid and that the bird may have picked
up some bad language there. She takes her chances and brings
the bird home. <br><br>
When she gets home she hangs the cage in the family room and
pulls back the cover. The bird opens his eyes, look ...
2 Comments, 19 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Tale of the Ring 10/9/2017
A balding, white haired man walked into a jeweler store
this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger
gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special
ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his
stock and brought out a $5, 000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more
special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his ...
4 Comments, 96 Views,
8 Votes
,5.80 Score
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Can't Take It 10/8/2017
With all the political correctness these days, it seems
that people just can't take a joke for what it is anymore.
I mean come on people, don't let a joke over shadow common
sense and real decency. thoughts?
1 Comments, 19 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Would you like to go large with that meal? 10/7/2017
I wasn't sure where I should write this, I think it's
quite fun to bring up the size of my cock on our second date
but I've recently took a moment to think this out again.
It is NOT under average at all, lets just get that out the
way because my cock does have a temper. So, my friends from
back home would have silly competition on who could jack
off the fastest, that one was my worst ...
2 Comments, 55 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
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SEX AND THE ELDERLY..... 10/5/2017
The eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical
examination, the Doctor said, "You are in fine shape
for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband, “she
said.
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled
out loud:
"Bob, do we still have intercourse?" There
was a complete ...
4 Comments, 131 Views,
11 Votes
,5.60 Score
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Blowjob 10/4/2017
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today
we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does
anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"
Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your
multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, ...
3 Comments, 50 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Woman buys a parrot 10/1/2017
A woman decides to buy a parrot at the local pet store. The
store owner explains the parrot was a rescue from the brothel
that got closed down in a raid and that the bird may have picked
up some bad language there. She takes her chances and brings
the bird home. <br><br>
When she gets home she hangs the cage in the family room and
pulls back the cover. The bird opens his eyes, look ...
1 Comments, 7 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Fly Swatter 9/26/2017
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking
around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies, ” he responded.
“Oh! Killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females, ” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on ...
8 Comments, 125 Views,
22 Votes
,6.13 Score
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Hot Mamma 9/26/2017
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
<br><br>
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. <br><br>
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
<br><br>
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, ...
1 Comments, 80 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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joke 9/22/2017
guess who I saw today ? everyone I looked at
1 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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none 9/22/2017
nothing4
1 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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A Vampire’s Nightcap 9/22/2017
What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were
passing the morgue? A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
1 Comments, 18 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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The Aussie 9/22/2017
An Aussie drover walks into a bar with his pet crocodile
by his side. <br><br>
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished
patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's
mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close
his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his
mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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Customer Complaints 9/18/2017
A well dressed gentleman is walking through the airport
with 12 . As he is standing at the gate to board, the airline
representative asks "Sir, are these all your ?"
<br><br>
The man say "No. None of these are mine." <br><br>
The airline rep asks "Well then why are they with you?"
<br><br>
The man replies "I work for the ...
1 Comments, 42 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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weddings!! 9/18/2017
why do brides wear white at a wedding? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
nah, ,, ,, thats not it!!!! <br><br>
hmmmm, try again!!! <br><br>
because it matches the appliances!!!!! 
1 Comments, 24 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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The Accident 9/15/2017
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've
regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember,
but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're
going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't
find it" <br><br> ...
1 Comments, 60 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Lucky 5 9/9/2017
A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married
5 years, has 5 , makes $55, 555.55 a year, and who’s
lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend. <br><br>
The friend informs the man that a named Lucky 5 will
be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.
<br><br>
Excitedly, the man withdraws $5, 555.00 cash from his
bank account, goes ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Cowboy Sex 8/29/2017
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite
sex positions: One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo
position the best." <br><br>
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one",
says the other cowboy, "what is it?" <br><br>
"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down
on all fours, and you mount her from behind, and ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
11 Votes
,5.41 Score
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Senior Citizen Sex 8/27/2017
Roger is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. <br><br>
Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind
the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long
life. <br><br>
One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden.
They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours
have passed. After a short lull in their conversation,
Roger turns to ...
2 Comments, 102 Views,
18 Votes
,6.13 Score
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O'brian. 8/24/2017
A traveler walks into a bar in Dublin after a long day to finally
have his first Irish beer. The bartender kindly asks, "What'll
ya have boyo?" to which the traveler responds, "A
pint of guiness, sir." The bartender pulls him a perfect
pint and the traveler stares at it in amazement as it settles.
"Ah, that's a mighty fine pull isn't it boyo?"
The bartender asks. "It's beautiful."
Says ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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The Accident 8/23/2017
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've
regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember,
but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're
going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't
find it"
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You ...
6 Comments, 178 Views,
17 Votes
,4.68 Score
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...irony of a blowjob... 8/23/2017
...even if you have her on her knees in front of you...she
still "has" you on your balls....
2 Comments, 41 Views,
9 Votes
,2.78 Score
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ceiling fan 8/23/2017
what noise does a ceilng fan make.....
whoooo go ceiling ur number 1 yeah go ceiling....
2 Comments, 25 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
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Hail Damage 8/23/2017
A Blonde got caught in a severe thunderstorm. Soon it began
hailing heavily. Her car had dents all over it so she took
it to a body shop.
The owner met her at the door and she explained what happened.
He looked out and saw the damage and decided to have some
fun with her. “Let me tell you a little secret that will
save you a lot of money. Blow in the tailpipe and the dents
will ...
3 Comments, 160 Views,
27 Votes
,5.03 Score
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jokes are good 8/23/2017
A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within
a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make
people laugh. It takes the form of a story, usually with
dialogue, and ends in a punch line. It is in the punch line
that the audience becomes aware that the story contains
a second, conflicting meaning. This can be done using a
pun or other word play such as irony, a logical ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
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