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wanttopamperyou2 69 M 65  Articles	Farmer John   2/20/2008 John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets, " and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell ... 0 Comments, 137 Views, 11 Votes ,5.78 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	The Corkscrew   2/20/2008 The Corkscrew Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's penis was twisted like a corkscrew. "Wow, " Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before." "Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail, " Gary said. "Well, what's yours ... 1 Comments, 148 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	ULTIMATE TRAIN RIDE   2/20/2008 ULTIMATE TRAIN RIDE A BUSINESS MAN TAKING A COMMUTER TRAIN RIDE HOME HAPPENS TO SIT ACROSS THE ISLE FROM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HE CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE. A LITTLE WHILE PASSES AND HE SEES HER REACH DOWN AND UNSCREW ONE OF HER LEGS AND LAY IT ON THE SEAT NEXT TO HER. WOW! HE'S AMAZED, POOR WOMAN MUST HAVE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT, BUT SHE'S STILL BEAUTIFUL! A ... 1 Comments, 145 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	And On The Menu Today We Have...   2/20/2008 A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50. Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50. Hand Job: - $10.00. Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was ... 0 Comments, 112 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
rm_hammerman15 62 M 20  Articles	joke or not.   2/19/2008 Can you imagine working at the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics... 29 have been accused of spousal abuse. 7 have been arrested for fraud. 19 have been accused of writing bad checks. 117 have bankrupted at least two businesses. 3 have been arrested for assault. 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug related ... 1 Comments, 121 Views, 9 Votes ,6.20 Score
Dekora 59 M 13  Articles	WORDS WOMEN USE   2/19/2008 WORDS WOMEN USE <br> FINE <br> This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. <br> FIVE MINUTES <br> If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. <br> NOTHING ... 1 Comments, 157 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	WHAT THINK   2/19/2008 WHAT THINK ONE DAY IN SUNDAY SCHOOL THE TEACHER ASKED THE STUDENTS HOW THEY THOUGHT GOD TOOK THEM TO HEAVEN WHEN IT WAS THEIR TIME. ONE LITTLE GIRL SAID " BY THE HANDS". THE TEACHER ASKED WHY SHE THOUGHT THAT? THE GIRL SAID , WELL YOUR HANDS ARE TOGETHER AND PRAYING, SO HE JUST PULLS YOU UP BY THE HANDS. WELL, THE LITTLE BOY NEXT TO HER DID NOT AGREE. HE ... 3 Comments, 149 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
rm_BX1000 51 M 7  Articles	Funny or Not   2/19/2008 It's not mine, but i think it's fuuny! Why don't cannibals eat clowns?. Beacause they taste funny!-lol!. What does everyone think?. 1 Comments, 50 Views, 7 Votes ,0.49 Score
sexycpl4fun1965 62 C 54  Articles	An occupational hazard…   2/18/2008 One night a man was drinking in a bar and he had to go to the bathroom. While he was going, he noticed that there were three black men next to him at the urinals. He happened to look down and was shocked to see that one of the men had a white penis. He quickly finished and went back to the bar. He told the bartender that he had just seen the strangest thing when he was in the bathroom. The ... 1 Comments, 223 Views, 13 Votes ,4.65 Score
voyeurs69in2003 73 C 107  Articles	Sex from the distance?   2/18/2008 Can you have a sex from the distance? Yes, if a distance is shorter than a length of the penis! 1 Comments, 76 Views, 7 Votes ,2.28 Score
Players_Paradise 48 G 80  Articles	10 Things About WomenThat U Never Knew   2/18/2008 1. CLEAN THAT THING! After a day of urinating and sweat, think before you play, go wash that thing off before it comes in contact with us! 2. THERE IS NO LAW THAT SAYS WE HAVE TO SWALLOW! Isn't it enough that we are putting our mouth on it? Could you please warn us before you explode? I'm sure you wil get it more. Want it to taste better? 3. WE ARE NOT REPLACING YOU! These ... 1 Comments, 128 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
WhatSomethinIs 40 M 1  Article	The Difference!   2/17/2008 An elderly couple sat at their kitchen table together, reading the newspaper on the morning of their sixty-fifth Wedding Anniversary. As they read, the elderly woman reached over and slapped the old man across the face. "What was that for mother?" exclaimed the old man. "That's for sixy-five years of bad sex!" replied the woman. The old man scowled, ruffled his paper and ... 1 Comments, 224 Views, 8 Votes ,2.09 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Book Report   2/17/2008 Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" and "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:.....Cost - $29.99 Clinton:.....Cost - $29.99 ... 0 Comments, 100 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
rm_hammerman15 62 M 20  Articles	Marriage Counseling   2/16/2008 After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselors office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor to discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" ... 0 Comments, 102 Views, 5 Votes ,5.10 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	Audience Participation Part 3 (last one)   2/16/2008 This story takes place a month after "Audience Participation Act Two." The same four main characters meet again with 16 other masturbators and voyeurs to get off to a stage act and to each other. Only the actors on the stage can touch one another. Tonight there is a surprise contest involving an audience member we've seen before... "Well, here we are again for a third ... 0 Comments, 104 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_vinculum5 35 M 6  Articles	really funny...   2/15/2008 Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken ... 1 Comments, 180 Views, 15 Votes ,4.97 Score
Shelbyjean69 47 C 64  Articles	A Quick Romp In The Broom Cupboard   2/15/2008 An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!" 1 Comments, 157 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
UpForeU2Play 65 M 155  Articles	Old Harold   2/15/2008 I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's ... 1 Comments, 100 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
Ask me for a photo crlwsh 51 M 2  Articles	2 1/2 in   2/15/2008 what is 2 1/2 inches long and can satisfy a woman? give her your credit card. 1 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
rm_wayne5320 71 M 2  Articles	kinky   2/15/2008 A man setting in a bar, lady comes in sets down beside him, they strike up a conversation..then they get on the topic of sex..The man says his wife divorced him as she thought he was too kinky..Really the woman says..My husband divorced me because he thought I was too kinky..She tells him..lets go to my place and get kinky..out the door they go to her house..She says let me go in the dressing ... 1 Comments, 139 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
rm_Pravin62 62 M 87  Articles	DAD AT THE MALL   2/15/2008 A took her dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. They decided to grab a bite at the food court. The noticed her Dad was watching a sitting next to him. The had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. Dad kept staring at him. The would look and find him staring every time. When the had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never ... 1 Comments, 255 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
rm_Pravin62 62 M 87  Articles	Preacher's Salary   2/15/2008 There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 , this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and ... 1 Comments, 156 Views, 7 Votes ,5.84 Score
rm_Pravin62 62 M 87  Articles	Licker License   2/15/2008 A drunk is sitting in a bar. There is a very buxom blonde a few seats down from him. A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's breasts and spills all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off of her breasts. This happens a couple more times. The next time, the drunk jumps up, and ... 1 Comments, 124 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
NickRules999 39 M 10  Articles	The war vet   2/15/2008 It's grandparents' day at a local elementary school and one of the grandfathers was a WWII veteran. "I was in one of these big planes with all the guns in it. I was a tailgunner. We we flying over Germany, and these Fokkers came out of the blue. I get on my gun, and I'm shooting them down! Shot those Fokkers down! Those Fokkers dropped like lead. From the sky. Boom!" The teacher ... 1 Comments, 98 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
sexycpl4fun1965 62 C 54  Articles	Birth Control Pills   2/15/2008 An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and ... 4 Comments, 341 Views, 31 Votes ,6.69 Score
justnumbers 51 M 15  Articles	New Viagra   2/14/2008 Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old fashioned ... 2 Comments, 162 Views, 15 Votes ,3.44 Score
rm_vinculum5 35 M 6  Articles	just a small funny....   2/14/2008 A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've made one ... 0 Comments, 88 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
Simply_smiling14 55 F 17  Articles	WHY?   2/12/2008 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do ... 1 Comments, 83 Views, 5 Votes ,5.75 Score
Riverguy1232 47 C 1  Article	LUCKY FROG   2/9/2008 One day a man was out golfing. Just as he was about to take his second shot on the 6th hole he heard from behind him "Ribbit, 7 iron, ribbit" The man looked all around him and did not see a thing. He shrugged it off as his mind playing tricks on him. He went to take his shot again when he heard "Ribbit, 7 iron, ribbit" Perplexed, the man walked over to his ... 2 Comments, 194 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
NickRules999 39 M 10  Articles	Little Billy   2/9/2008 A buddy of mine told me this one a long time ago. A kindergarten teacher had a lesson on the alphabet. She held up a card with the letter A. She said, "Can anyone tell me what the letter A stands for?" Little Billy raised his hand. "I know! Iknow!" The teacher knew that Little Billy liked to curse, so the teacher choose someone else. "Sally, " said the teacher, ... 2 Comments, 164 Views, 11 Votes ,1.86 Score