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Late Night Visitors 6/17/2018
A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the
front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies
standing there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the
deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, "Yes,
I am." The deputy then asks if he could see a picture
of the man's wife. <br><br>
The guy says, "Sure, I guess, " and gets a photo ...
0 Comments, 105 Views,
23 Votes
,3.01 Score
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Coma 6/16/2018
One day a woman mysteriously falls into a deep coma, leaving
the doctors puzzled and her husband desperate. They try
every conventional treatment in the book to no avail. One
day the husband is in the hospital and in his frustration
he yet again approaches the doctor and says “Are you sure
that we’ve tried everything? Isn’t there some less
conventional or experimental treatments that ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
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Oops 6/13/2018
An elderly couple was sitting in church when the man whispers
to his wife, "hey I just let a silent fart, what should I do?" His wife replies"turn your hearing
aid up."
1 Comments, 13 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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funny 6/11/2018
Who has the best Monday joke? lets hear them!!!
1 Comments, 16 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
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A Farm Couple 6/8/2018
Once there was an elderly couple that lived on a farm. One
day the farmer came to his wife and grabbed her boobs. <br><br>
He said, "If we could get milk out of these things,
we could get rid of the cows." <br><br>
The next day he approached her, grabbed her butt, and said,
"If we could get eggs out of this thing, we could get
rid of the chickens." ...
3 Comments, 105 Views,
20 Votes
,3.51 Score
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A True Blonde 6/8/2018
A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message
to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she
exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would
do ANYTHING to get a message to my mom!'' <br><br>
To that the man asks, ''Anything?''
<br><br>
She says ''Anything'' <br><br>
With that, the ...
2 Comments, 101 Views,
19 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Stolen Credit Card 6/8/2018
Question: Have you ever had a credit card stolen? <br><br>
Answer: Yes, my wife’s credit card was stolen. <br><br>
Question: Did you report it missing? <br><br>
Answer: No, the guy who stole it spends less than my wife,
so I’m better off.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Hippo and a Zippo 6/7/2018
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
<br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ <br><br>
/ The Zippo is a little lighter...
5 Comments, 25 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
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What kind of bees produce milk? 6/2/2018
Boo-bees!
1 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
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Superman joke 6/1/2018
Superman is flying and sees Wonderwoman naked on the roof
of the Hall of Justice. He exclaims "Great Scott!"
He thinks I'm Superman I can be in and out before she
knows it. WHOOSH BAM BAM BAM BAM. Wonderwoman says"
What was that? The Invisible man says" I don't
know but my ass really hurts.
1 Comments, 29 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Two Garbage Bags 5/27/2018
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two
large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,
and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
<br><br>
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am,
there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." <br><br>
"Oh, really? Darn, " says the little old ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
18 Votes
,2.85 Score
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Once a Marine, Always a Marine 5/27/2018
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she
wore on her wedding night and put it on. <br><br>
She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, "Honey,
do you remember this?" <br><br>
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear,
I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married" <br><br>
She said, ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Money Back 5/25/2018
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money." <br><br>
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
<br><br>
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
1 Comments, 35 Views,
14 Votes
,3.46 Score
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Just Confirmed 5/25/2018
It's just been confirmed Monica Lewinski voted for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth....
1 Comments, 25 Views,
12 Votes
,3.86 Score
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So This Guy Walks into a Bar with an Octopus under his arm... 5/21/2018
So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus under his arm.
He tosses the Octopus onto the bar and says "I bet anyone
a drink that my Octopus can play any musical instrument
that you give him." The piano player says "I'll take that bet"
The guy puts the Octopus on the piano and he starts playing
and it is better than Ray Charles !!! Another guy says "Can he play my ...
3 Comments, 92 Views,
19 Votes
,3.78 Score
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The Old Soldier 5/17/2018
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady
cashier walked up to him and said, 'your barracks door
is open'. Not a phrase that men normally use, he went
on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about d shopping,
a man came up and said, 'your fly is open.' he zipped
up and finished his shopping. <br><br>
At the checkout, he intentionally got in the ...
1 Comments, 75 Views,
19 Votes
,3.39 Score
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Cheesy Joke 5/13/2018
How do you make a tissue paper dance? Put a boogy in it.
2 Comments, 16 Views,
10 Votes
,2.39 Score
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A Close Shave 5/12/2018
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is
foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting
a close shave around the cheeks. ''I have just
the thing, '' says the barber taking a small wooden
ball from a nearby drawer. ''Just place this between
your cheek and gum.'' <br><br>
The places the ball in his mouth and the barber ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
20 Votes
,4.27 Score
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Thermometer 5/10/2018
Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
<br><br>
The taste.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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Cash rules everything 5/9/2018
I fell in love with a cam girl, the only problem is that she
does not know. I keep sending her points and gifts but nothing.
Oh well she just might be out for the cash!!!
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
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Vatican 5/8/2018
A young man was on holidays in Rome and decided he would go
do a tour of the Vatican, grabbed his camera so he could capture
the event. On arriving he decided to take some photos of the outside
of the vatican, to get the whole shot he moved right back
near some bushes. He'd taken a few shots when he heard some rustling noises
in the bushes, thinking it might be a wild animal he was ready
to ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
12 Votes
,2.27 Score
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An Ostrich Story 5/8/2018
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich
behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The
man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, "
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same, " says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will Be $.40 please" The man reaches
into his ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
14 Votes
,2.82 Score
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funny 5/7/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? because your dick was
stuck in the chicken!
1 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Bad jokes 5/4/2018
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's been gettin' choked all day!
1 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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An Irish Tale 5/3/2018
An Irish priest named Father O'Malley was transferred
to Texas. <br><br>
<br><br>
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was
a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He
walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass
lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
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THE Talk 4/26/2018
A father asked his 10-year old if he knew about the birds
and the bees. <br><br> “I don’t want to know, ” the said, bursting
into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” <br><br>
Confused the father asked what was wrong. <br><br>
The boy sobbed. “When I was six, I got the “there’s
no Easter Bunny speech. At seven, I got the “there’s ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
9 Votes
,2.78 Score
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hand some 4/25/2018
When three people have sex, it's called a threesome.
When two people have sex, it's called a twosome. Now
I understand why they call you handsome. 
2 Comments, 40 Views,
18 Votes
,5.03 Score
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For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard? 4/23/2018
For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard? She never knows how deep it's going to get, nor how long
it is going to last!
2 Comments, 13 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Difference between a good girl and a nice girl. 4/23/2018
Difference between a good girl and a nice girl: A nice girl goes home and then goes to bed. A good girl goes to bed and then goes home!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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funny or not? 4/23/2018
My wife asked for chap stick but I accidentally handed her
superglue, she still isn't talking to me.
1 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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