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The joke of the day 4/1/2019
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't
paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three
ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are
left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher
asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the
shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No,
two, but I like how you're thinking." ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Out Dancing 3/26/2019
I went out dancing last night... They played The Twist...I twisted... They played Jump...I jumped... They played Come On Eileen...I got kicked out for that.
3 Comments, 26 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
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The Bus Stop 3/26/2019
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman
wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the
bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware
that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step of the bus. <br><br>
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver,
she reached behind her to unzip her ...
2 Comments, 78 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
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I wonder 3/25/2019
A recent questionnaire to high school girls , 97 percent
admitted they had kissed/made out. Only 3 percent lied
about it.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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I wonder 3/25/2019
A recent questionnaire to high school girls , 97 percent
admitted they had kissed/made out. Only 3 percent lied
about it.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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Scotish Obituary 3/23/2019
A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see
that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is
published. <br><br>
The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents
per word. <br><br>
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well, then,
let it read, 'Angus MacPherson died'."
<br><br>
Amused at the woman's ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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That's a Lawyer 3/23/2019
As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are
all the blinds drawn?" <br><br>
The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the
street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."
2 Comments, 29 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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For a laugh 3/20/2019
A little boy was taking a shower with his mom. The boy pointed
at her chest and asked “what are those”? The mother
was shocked and didn’t have any words except for the boy
to ask his father. The boy asked his father what those two
humps were on mommy’s chest. The father laughed and said
“those are balloons and when mommy dies, they get blown
up and carry her soul to heaven”. ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Alien Wife swap 3/20/2019
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are
talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject
of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?"
asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do, "
responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally
the couples decide swap partners for the night and experience
one another. The female Earthling and the male ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Best joke today 3/16/2019
A nerdy, 100 lbs weakling walks into a weightlifting gym
and states he wants to become a body builder. So, the gym's
trainer is walking him through all the exercise machines
explaining which machine builds which specific muscle.
<br><br>
After about a half hour, a super-hot chic walks by, breaking
everyone's attention. The nerdy, 100 lbs weakling inquires, "which ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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The points.... 3/9/2019
That's the true joke of this site. 2nd to the IM that
never works
4 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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What? 3/6/2019
How many puppies does it take to land a plane on a Saturday?
<br><br>
All of them
1 Comments, 30 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
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Emotional sex 3/2/2019
For the past six years me and a good friend started having
weekly phone conversations. It got to where we knew every
dirty seceret about eachother. Well in our conversation
last week he confided that he always cries before during
and after sex. I didnt know what to say. I mean i have sex for
the sheer pleasure of it. Well beteeen that and my sarcasm
i blurted damn dude i hate to hear that you ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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Stranded on Deserted Island 3/1/2019
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and
there are only 3 Survivors: Jim, Tom, and Susie. <br><br>
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there
for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and
women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt
absolutely horrible about what she was doing. ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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A morbid joke 3/1/2019
So I have a friend who has been really depressed lately.
His life is going nowhere, and he has been thinking about
committing suicide. Good thing he is a male, and has a fear
to commit. <br><br>
Do you have any morbid jokes? I wrote this one myself
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
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Good Heavens... 2/25/2019
St. Peter is on duty at the Pearly Gates of Heaven where he
meets those who's time on Earth had come to an end and
he decides whether or not they enter Heaven or "the
other place". A woman is the first newcomer for the
day and St. Peter greets her. He asks her "have you
been a good person all your life? The woman replies "yes,
I tried my very best to be good. I went ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
17 Votes
,4.54 Score
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At the Funeral 2/24/2019
A cardiologist died and was given an eleborate funeral.
<br><br>
A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket
during the service. <br><br>
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket
rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing
the doctor inside, forever. <br><br>
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When ...
6 Comments, 116 Views,
27 Votes
,4.40 Score
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Cotton Candy 2/24/2019
So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn. <br><br>
He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy
shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible. <br><br>
<br><br> <br><br> The man walks up to the boy and says "You know , it's
really not healthy to eat all that candy." <br><br>
The looks ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
17 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Otherwise OK 2/24/2019
"Darling you would a be wonderful dancer but for two
things." "what are they, my love?" "Your feet!"
3 Comments, 27 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
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A Guy Walks into a Bar... 2/23/2019
And orders 10 shots of gin, neat. He slams them back, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
POW!!! all in a row, NO CHASER. The bartender is astonished.
<br><br>
"Holy shit pal, what are YOU celebrating?"
the bartender says. <br><br>
Guy says, "My first blow job" <br><br>
The bartender says "Why didnt you say so? Next drinks on the house, pal" ...
4 Comments, 53 Views,
13 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Cheat Day 2/17/2019
Bob and his wife started dieting a week ago. His wife proposed
that they should have a cheat day today. <br><br>
She brought home McDonald’s burgers, KFC wings. Bob
brought home his secretary. <br><br>
From his hospital bed, Bob is wondering when men will ever
begin to understand women.
3 Comments, 45 Views,
13 Votes
,3.31 Score
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Points 2/14/2019
Just here for the points
6 Comments, 31 Views,
13 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Points 2/14/2019
Just here for the points
4 Comments, 21 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
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Lorrainia Bobbit 2/13/2019
Have you heard that Lorrainia Bobbit moved to Russia and
changed her last name? Answer!! Too Lorriania Cuts your cockoff!!!
2 Comments, 15 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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the best joke 2/13/2019
whats the best joke you remember?
1 Comments, 27 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
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Man ask the Doctor 2/11/2019
Do you think I shall live until I'm ninety, doctor?"
"How old are you now?" "Forty." "Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices
of any kind?" <br><br>
"No. I don't drink, I never gamble, I loathe smoking;
in fact, I don't have any vices." <br><br>
"Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another ...
2 Comments, 63 Views,
18 Votes
,4.35 Score
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Indoors.. 2/9/2019
It does not matter what the temperature is, it's always
room temperature!
1 Comments, 25 Views,
13 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Question... 2/6/2019
If Con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of
Progress? <br><br>
Get the point?
1 Comments, 30 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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Aricle #1 2/5/2019
Coming soon...will add later on
1 Comments, 14 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
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Fuc'em 2/5/2019
Fuc'em if they can't take a joke!!
3 Comments, 16 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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