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how to make your woman happy.... 5/19/2009
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.... A man only needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Men and Women 5/10/2009
Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout
the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's
abode to be judged.
The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental
new judgement trick and says, " I want all you humans
to form two queues.
One line is for the men who dominated their women, ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Fliration of Youth 4/26/2009
I had posted some photos on one of those generic sites.
The photos were the type relatives usually take....me
eating or adjusting my panties, for an example.
Somehow these photos caught the eye of a young man aged 18
and he just had to contact me.
Was I aware that we lived a town apart? Could I come over to his home to have some "fun?"
The young man, after ...
2 Comments, 166 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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The thrill is gone ! 4/22/2009
The thrill is gone from my marriage", a man tells
his friend.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?" the friend suggested.
"What if my wife finds out?' the first asked.
"Just be honest and tell her about it, " the
second man answered.
The man went home and told his wife, "Dear, I think
an affair will bring us closer together." ...
11 Comments, 235 Views,
31 Votes
,1.03 Score
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For people that remember Bob hope ! 4/20/2009
May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003
ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only
downhill".
ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life even
when even your birthday suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100 " I don't feel old. In fact I don't
feel anything ...
5 Comments, 115 Views,
31 Votes
,0.08 Score
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Present For Husband 4/16/2009
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training
session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have
a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you
like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: ...
3 Comments, 184 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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For men only ! ! ! 4/7/2009
5 RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and
who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in ...
9 Comments, 226 Views,
57 Votes
,0.16 Score
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10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE 4/7/2009
Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
***********
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say; talk in your sleep.
***********
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
...
3 Comments, 123 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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A Doctor speaking in front of an audience ! 4/3/2009
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-
term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and
we ...
10 Comments, 202 Views,
54 Votes
,2.03 Score
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YOU AND I 3/31/2009
You and I are not the same, Nor will we ever be... But we have a common thread, That attaches you to me.
A golden thread that's spun so fine, With so much love and care, A thread of gold, for us to hold, That only best friends can share.
A common bond within our hearts, Love that's rare, a special find. An ability to feel and see, Within the heart so blind...
So know my ...
3 Comments, 75 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Vertically Challenged 3/25/2009
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all
the time.
The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem..
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started
to examine him.
The doctor put one finger under his left testicle ...
3 Comments, 175 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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bono interrupted my loving 3/20/2009
I was with my girl for 2 weeks that time, and i visited her
for 3 days, we only got out of bed to get to the toilette. We
kept having our fun for 15 times in about one day. She loves to listen to music all the time, and its allways
funny when shes singing to a song while i try to get her horny.
The horror came at the evening, i just got down on her, tasting
her sweet pussy, and then got my big ...
1 Comments, 112 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Computer Trouble ! 3/16/2009
I was having trouble with my computer. So, I called Richard,
the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission
Control, and asked him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As
he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was
wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ...
15 Comments, 397 Views,
53 Votes
,1.37 Score
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funniest thing during sex 3/15/2009
curious to know what the craziest/funniest thing people
have had happen to them during sex
3 Comments, 155 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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louisiana bride 2/23/2009
Three men chose brides.
The first man married a woman from OHIO . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took
a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from MICHIGAN . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes
and the cooking. The ...
2 Comments, 139 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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10 quirky facts about kissing 2/20/2009
Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably
do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll
bet you don’t know them all–and they could come in handy.
Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?”
chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying
lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching! ...
8 Comments, 312 Views,
19 Votes
,3.39 Score
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newlyweds 2/7/2009
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where
they were spending the first night of their honeymoon.
They opened the champagne and began undressing.
When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,
"Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes
look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"
"I had tolio as a , " he answered.
"You mean ...
1 Comments, 103 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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SEX AND YOUR FIRST NAME 2/4/2009
According to studies, your sexual identity is revealed
by the first letter of your first name what do you think? Those of you with names that start with N will probably wish it started with K
Disclaimer This was given to me by a close friend of mine
named John Lozon A
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested
in action. You mean ...
8 Comments, 391 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score
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Here" a good one folks............ 1/30/2009
I kind of am seeing this guy; ya, kinda of seeing this guy.
We been together for about 3 1/2 years and it really hasnt
gone anywhere but until I get out of the relationship, which
is like next month, I kind of want to c what u all have to say
about this one.
He barely got back from MX and El Centro after being there
for a supposed funeral and personal family business. He
was gone from ...
3 Comments, 211 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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What's wrong with this picture? 1/28/2009
My twin sister is the stupidest smart person I know. Her
college G.P.A. was 3.98.
I never tell anyone my grade point average because it would
prove that there is "an inverse relationship between
bust size and I.Q."
She calls me about 4 to 6 times a day and all we ever talk about
is her.
She just started to date through one of fancy dating sites
and had her first date. ...
3 Comments, 215 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
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A + class act 1/20/2009
we started chating in an American Sex Dates chatroom. The conversation was going well and the young man wanted
to continue on IM Yahoo Messenger.
He told me that his name was Philip S, I can't reveal
his last name for privacy sake but it was the same name that
Winnie the Pooh lived under in his hollow tree home (wasn't
the nams Saunders???).
He said his $1400 computer cam wasn't working, ...
5 Comments, 321 Views,
12 Votes
,3.86 Score
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stupid glove box 1/20/2009
i use to keep a small vibrator in my glove box of my car so when
i had a extreme wait for someone r just driving and ended
up getting horny i could use it. needless to say my car was
broken into and my lock on my glove box was broken. i completely
forgot about it one day and was giving my mom a ride. well
she started going through my glove box while i was in the
gas station and when i came out ...
2 Comments, 163 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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a slip of the tongue 12/24/2008
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh
and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the
guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both
have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was
a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket ...
1 Comments, 229 Views,
13 Votes
,1.97 Score
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always get a second opinion... 12/24/2008
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you
are no good in bed either, " and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
amends and calls home.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated
husband says, "What took you so long to answer the
phone?"
She says, "I ...
2 Comments, 201 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
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40th anniversary 12/24/2008
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet
celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief
account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from
all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage
is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ...
2 Comments, 139 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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memory class 12/24/2008
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories,
so they decided to take a power memory class where one is
taught to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking
with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked
the neighbor.
"Oh, ummmm, let's see, " the old man ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Guilty or not? 12/23/2008
I accidentally slept with my sister's friend. I was
all alone at home watching porn when she came over looking
for my sis. When i went to the kitchen to make a drink for her,
she switch back on the TV and saw PORN! She kept it cool so
we watch it together. I got so horny that we started touching.
One thing lead to another and we ended making out in the living
room. Is it wrong to do your sister's ...
8 Comments, 284 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
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the phone call 12/9/2008
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free
speaker function and begins to talk....
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat.
It's $1, 000. Can I buy it?"
MAN: "OK, go ahead if you ...
4 Comments, 159 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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The Dear John Revenge 12/6/2008
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there
he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter
she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had
been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted
pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do.
He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted
photos of ...
2 Comments, 233 Views,
17 Votes
,7.37 Score
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every saturday morning.... 12/2/2008
Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets
up early and eager, golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.
Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly,
gets his clubs out of the closet and goes to his car to drive
to the course.
Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; torrential
downpour.
There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the ...
1 Comments, 109 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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