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How many no's does it take?  

AnewWoman 61F  
164 posts
3/5/2020 12:50 pm
How many no's does it take?

I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said never give up until you have heard no at least 3 times. I receive lots of requests to meet and therefore say no thanks frequently. For this question, my reason for saying no is irrelevant. I get all sorts of responses after saying no; some saying their loss, some saying my loss, some begging me to meet. The list goes on. What I would like to know is how many no's does it take for you to say ok and move on? In the comment section maybe mention your success rate for not giving up should that be the case.
1 no and I'm out of there.
2 just to double check they really meant no.
3 no's are enough for me, then I'm gone.
3's only the beginning for the right person.
I never give up.


Paulxx001 63M  
15423 posts
3/5/2020 1:33 pm

In real life - I'm in sales... lol and Zig is an asshole... lol... So three.... ๐Ÿ˜
In matters of the heart... One.
No time for games or some bullshit chase. There are too many opportunities out there. And if a woman doesn't see a possibility with me? No worries... ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Ž

Zig... you made me laugh. That guy is a slightly overrated tool.... and my boss's idol. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ But... he was right about - THREE! ๐Ÿ‘ โ—โ—โ—

... is there another way to look at it.
Coincidence... or destiny The Bench


AnewWoman replies on 3/5/2020 5:30 pm:
I totally agree. 30 years ago I had bosses who thought the sun rose and set in Zig Ziglar. I couldn't stand the guy. I think a common trait of these people is they do it for the kill. It's not the money, it's the fact they won. And once finished with that sale, it was forgotten because it was time to pursue the next sale.

shadowtoo69 64M  
893 posts
3/5/2020 1:59 pm

Most times just one. If I see the person around 3 or 4 months later I might drop them a line and see if their interest have changed..


lonlyforlove2 77M  
3648 posts
3/5/2020 2:08 pm

I think three with respect, but one has to follow his heart. You never know only one more might be the winner. Just be respectful and realistic about it..

Be sure to look in at lonlyforlove2 . It may make you smile

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countryliving67 67T  
1 post
3/5/2020 2:10 pm

Just once everybody. I cannot believe the number of rude people Iโ€™ve came across in the short time Iโ€™ve been doing my search. I am a crossdresser and really thought that we were here to support each other. But when you say hi to someone that just looked at your profile and wonโ€™t respond by saying at least a โ€œnoโ€ what else would you call it but rude


lighthousecollec 57F  
260 posts
3/5/2020 2:22 pm

i have tried with one gentleman on a few times and needless to say he is a standard member so i sent him a message on IM and to his private mailbox he set up but nothing . I finally gave up after 3 times. With my heart it just takes only once.

May you all be safe in this time of need.
Light


randi19563 64M  

3/5/2020 2:33 pm

Your question is moot for me. They court ME, not the other way around. "I got legs, and I know how to use them. I never beg; I know how to choose them".


h4rry66 53M
1943 posts
3/5/2020 2:44 pm

Its difficult to give up with a beautiful lady like you, but no means no. X


1seeking1 54F
2968 posts
3/5/2020 2:52 pm

Curious if the answers differ based on what gender you are. I find males here have hard time accepting no.


AnewWoman replies on 3/5/2020 5:18 pm:
At the time I'm responding to you it looks like 80% are saying it only takes one no. My thought is 50% is more realistic based my experience. I was actually more interested in the comments as to why one no is not enough. Thanks for your comment. Good point.

8848tuit 67M
1 post
3/5/2020 2:56 pm

If given a good reason as to no, then I stop


mr_ric_hard 59M
11 posts
3/5/2020 3:07 pm

How many no's does it usually take?


JJ2Umendo 64M
16 posts
3/5/2020 3:08 pm

1 is it for me, too many other options to keep hearing no.


sensualmaninmn 58M  
481 posts
3/5/2020 3:36 pm

Maybe if the woman in question is vague about her "no" I will probe a little more. Otherwise, I don't waste time with someone who would not want to get to know and be with me.


Usemyhardon 50M
33 posts
3/5/2020 3:54 pm

Once is enough. Donโ€™t believe in being pushy. Offer to be friends and let it go


Brokenguy64 55M

3/5/2020 4:36 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    In real life - I'm in sales... lol and Zig is an asshole... lol... So three.... ๐Ÿ˜
    In matters of the heart... One.
    No time for games or some bullshit chase. There are too many opportunities out there. And if a woman doesn't see a possibility with me? No worries... ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜Ž

    Zig... you made me laugh. That guy is a slightly overrated tool.... and my boss's idol. lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ But... he was right about - THREE! ๐Ÿ‘ โ—โ—โ—
Damn! I wish I read this a while ago
You nailed it,..ONE m and the comment about the bullshit chase!
Send this guy a cigar...or at least 100 points!


classicalrebel4 64M  
1400 posts
3/5/2020 5:13 pm

Once should be enough unless there is a need to reword the request to clarify things.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


tresennui 65F  
2438 posts
3/5/2020 5:21 pm

After I give one no, unless the second request comes with a compelling sales pitch, I just ignore, or if grossly obnoxious...block.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


tresennui 65F  
2438 posts
3/5/2020 5:22 pm

    Quoting tresennui:
    After I give one no, unless the second request comes with a compelling sales pitch, I just ignore, or if grossly obnoxious...block.
And...I only ask once. If someoneโ€™s not interested I do not pursue anymore.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


ed6569 49M
60 posts
3/5/2020 5:25 pm

I hear no just once and I'm done, some ppl never heard of the word.


LuvWmn_N_Sex 59M  
92 posts
3/5/2020 6:07 pm

If the Treasure is Pleasure and from a Realistic source, I may never give up because often a great deal of time is necessary to present my case. I choose to make requests after adequate consideration. Likewise, I expect that offers are not accepted without rational cause!


Kdream_flyer76K 43M
64 posts
3/5/2020 6:19 pm

One no is plenty. If she was nice about it then maybe we can chat again without meeting. If she was rude about it then I just block her so I never make the mistake of trying to say hello again.


JustLookn439 54M
529 posts
3/5/2020 7:37 pm

I NEVER beg a woman to meet. I find that demeaning to myself to shed all resemblance of dignity. I don't even WANT to hear a reason why not.
In life and in relationships, you cede all power to the one who wants it least. If the woman knows you are more madly in lover or lust with her than she with you, she controls you. This is the first mistake too many make in entering a relationship.


JustLookn439 54M
529 posts
3/5/2020 7:42 pm

I would think it is only men that would have this issue. Do women really ever ask to meet? I find most don't seem to be interested in meeting, let alone ASKING to meet. So, it seems there would be little likelihood of them being told "no".


PAWAPh 43M
11631 posts
3/5/2020 8:01 pm

*Voted*

Jack


looking4u69ca 59M  
3358 posts
3/5/2020 8:34 pm

Usually once is enough.
Sometimes 2 after a short period of time.
Give the woman time to think about her answer.


BiggLala 48F  
27926 posts
3/6/2020 2:03 am

    Quoting JustLookn439:
    I would think it is only men that would have this issue. Do women really ever ask to meet? I find most don't seem to be interested in meeting, let alone ASKING to meet. So, it seems there would be little likelihood of them being told "no".
Do women really ever ask to meet?
-Yes, some women do. There are also women who initiate contact. Those are probably the women who hear 'no' most often.

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sassos 53M
37 posts
3/6/2020 2:33 am

One then move on - let's not waste each others time....


TicklePlease 52F  
12651 posts
3/6/2020 6:18 am

    Quoting sensualmaninmn:
    Maybe if the woman in question is vague about her "no" I will probe a little more. Otherwise, I don't waste time with someone who would not want to get to know and be with me.
^^This

Sometimes I say no for logistical reasons like distance or availability, and tell the person that.... if those things change I might think differently if that person reaches out again.
Sometimes it's because my schedule is ridiculously busy, or there's a medical reason like driving-foot surgery that limits my known availability that I say no. But I make it clear what the reason is.
I try to be clear if I say no when a person doesn't fit what I'm seeking. THOSE folks I don't want to hear from again, but if they do fit what I'm seeking, sometimes that no can be a "not right now, but I won't mind if you check back respectfully later."


AnewWoman 61F  
124 posts
3/6/2020 3:22 pm

    Quoting  :

As much as I can see your point, I still have to disagree with you. You happen to be a standard member who can't view profiles. Now add in the gold members who can read profiles, but don't. You are saying some say no without taking the time to find out if you are worth their time. Neither have you if you think about it. Maybe the reason you are not worth their time is clearly explained in their profile. Just maybe the person is tired of having to say why when they already have. You just choose not to see it.


ProfessorNaught 107M
1043 posts
3/6/2020 6:32 pm

Zig Ziglar may be outdated as even in sales they say 6-7 no's before you get to yes.

But this isn't about sales or sex for that matter. My time is precious. Say no and I'm gone. But then again, I never played the cat-n-mouse game with women either.

However, if you were forced to reach out to men, if that was your only expectation and chance of talking or meeting someone. How would you develop around the word 'no'?

Try to flip the table. Women rarely are in the same position.


Yours_4A_knight 55M
1287 posts
3/8/2020 8:44 pm

I would be thrilled . . .well would have been thrilled back when I could send messages . .to have received a polite "Thanks but not for me." For the most part I got nothing at all back.

Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.


lickinislivin 48M
17 posts
3/9/2020 5:19 am

You are fucking sexy so It's probably going to take a lot


Lasttry731 40M
65 posts
3/9/2020 6:12 am

If I'm told no then it is what it is. They don't have to have a reason to give. No was their answer. I accept it. We don't have to give a reason to our saying no. If I say no to someone on here or if they fall outside of my search, like men for example, I immediately block them on the second attempt from them. Maybe that too harsh but at least they will get the point.


196ddawg 59M
18 posts
3/9/2020 8:11 am

Well I'd never ask untill I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a no but never know


neednewfun50 62M  
98 posts
3/9/2020 8:43 am

I said 2 but really it is just 1 the 2nd email is just to thank them for at least responding since so few actually answer you at all


sprint2055 49M
21 posts
3/9/2020 9:54 am

Interesting post...


alexsantelmoaff 45M
6 posts
3/9/2020 7:59 pm

salio mi voto!


AnewWoman 61F  
124 posts
3/11/2020 7:38 am

    Quoting  :

"The sad part..... That guy who messaged you has probably messaged several other women in hopes of one taking him up on his offer..... It makes you no one special. I'll never understand why some women don't get that...?"
It makes us no one special in his eyes, what you fail to realize is he is without a doubt, no one special in our eyes. And guess what? It is our eyes that matter, not his. That is what you have failed to understand.


BiggLala 48F  
27926 posts
3/11/2020 10:13 am

    Quoting  :

This response is so funny! I don't know what difference it makes how many times she said 'yes'.

What's really funny is that you most likely intended to make the OP (and all women here) look bad. Yet, you contradicted yourself the entire way through. You say men are here looking for hookups, but women need to not "...ignore someone before getting to know them." You also assert that women should be able to "...carry on an intelligent conversation..." with someone who contacts them, but...again...is just looking for a hookup.

Really? Get to know someone, or carry on an intelligent conversation with men who don't want conversation or "...get to know..." those women, but just want to hookup?

Too funny!!!

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AnewWoman replies on 3/11/2020 12:23 pm:
I about fell outta my chair when I read his response this morning. I'm guessing he and/or others who think like him are the ones who after being told no are the ones who finish the chat with "Your loss."

saggymakesmehard 61M
5 posts
3/16/2020 3:00 pm

Depends on the situation. If people keep contact with me over time (which some do) and we get to know each other better online, I may ask again at a later date--months later, or a year later.


stringtime666 58M
619 posts
3/19/2020 11:28 am

it depends on the situation, usually a no is enough, but a second attempt has often been worthwhile

Lust was zu schreiben? [post Privater Briefkasten Privat Mailbox (private Mailbox)


Hornycub165 19M
13 posts
3/19/2020 9:36 pm

No means no soooo


jrkingshow 47M
5267 posts
3/20/2020 2:52 pm

A no is enough... Is something in language i missed? XD


Mrfrogyone1 52M
14 posts
3/21/2020 4:58 am

Getting a no is a good place to start. If told no, time to move on, but if ignored no way of knowing. So many times I hear of complaining that IM doesnt work, so if ignored on IM I will make repeated attempts. I have seen where someone has read your IM and doesnt respond, seems rude to me, cant be assured that they didnt loose there connection or something. Just trying to be respectful. Im only interested in those interested in me, to chase others sounds desperate and kinda stalkish .... ; )


funasianma1e 45M
119 posts
3/27/2020 9:02 pm

especially in today's MeToo era, once is enough.
Should be once is enough even before.


_IKanCu2_ 101M
2583 posts
3/30/2020 1:04 am

/\/0,,, ][ didn't vote.
/\/0,,, ][ didn't ask .

By (\/)y reasoning and reckoning,,,

][f You can get anyone to tell You the Gods Truth,,,

that would make You a Lion



Tamer
!



HornyOldFucker76 60M
113 posts
3/30/2020 9:05 am

I voted for "1", but occasionally I'll ask again 2+ months down the road in case she has had a change of heart.


84U269Now 51M  
8 posts
3/31/2020 3:34 pm

Either you are in or out, one no and I move on, I want a real player, not a game player.


Don1238348 57M  
9 posts
4/1/2020 2:08 pm

it depends on how well you know her.


Dezzer57 62M
16 posts
4/2/2020 3:19 am

I always accept the first no. However a polite no is better received. No need to be rude on the first time of asking


NJGUY08090 53M
2961 posts
4/3/2020 5:42 pm

I think never taking no as an answer can be bad and turn even creepy for a guy. I'm always nice to people in general. Over the years It has been a blessing and a curse. Some women that I have no interest in have taken being polite as being interested.. For me and the ladies I have made the same mistake myself. I'm always kind and a few have grown up to be hot sexy swans.. I just pays to be nice in the long run and try not to be creepy


bigjohnson12983 59M
18 posts
4/6/2020 6:59 pm

One and im done


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