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| Blogs > joannarocks > It's not like it's real is it? |
New status alert!!!
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New status alert!!! So as you will know if you have read anything I’ve previously written, I am an absolute techno twat!! But after 48 hours and I shit you not.... I’m promoting myself techno twit, impressive huh!! Now I’m not taking this step lightly, however with only the minimal of help (read copious crying and generally humiliating myself in front of anyone who might be techno savvy, and yes I do mean the neighbours 8 year old who rolled her eyes out loud on me when I asked her if this was the text icon...) I have managed transfer albeit manually most of the info from one phone another, and it wasn’t easy, it was like a mixed race marriage old phone Samsung, new phone iPhone!!! But I think I’m nearly there now, I’m gradually switching off apps and logging on with new phone!! I’m so super impressed with myself.. keep telling you.. low standards usually achieved.., eventually!! Which makes a smooth transition into... Again if you read anything from my previous ramblings, I like to keep you up to date at chez jo’s. you will know that I’m really quite new to this being single malarkey and to this end, in a desperate bid from being left humiliated and heartbroken (hubby did that quite beautifully last sept, not looking for it to happen again anytime soon, although I did lose a gratifying amount of weight... every cloud...) I digress.. I have developed a fool proof interview technique for future candidates (fuck buddies, future victims sounds so crass) this interview technique so far consists of a few stages, intro and small talk via appalling messaging service on the site. When I’m suitably frustrated about the time it takes to properly I then move onto stage 2, which involves giving telephone number for my what’s app (different number to the real one I normally use. Think of it as a burner phone... (I know what I’m talking about here, I’ve watched the wire and homeland) and then if you are really unlucky, and it’s only happened twice, there is what I like term the summons. Now even the summons doesn’t mean you get a shag, because then I do a face face meeting, with added ambient lighting (very subdued I look better in near darkness) and alcohol, cos deep down, or even not that deep I am absolutely shitting myself.... now this has only happened twice, gloss over the first one. 2nd candidate huge improvement... which leads me beautifully into....,(it’s like being a DJ, my links are getting so much better) Candidate number 2. The 2nd summons. (Second cumming?) Now I’m really not sure how this works, last time I had no idea of what he was like, how much of a disappointment I would be to him.. or what the protocol was from getting candidate from doorstop to bed. I’m not sure my approach was the standard protocol, but I went with the casual look. For casual read long shirt, no undies. No undies cos I don’t wear them, long shirt because I didn’t think he would show be honest and I didn’t want feel a fool. So I dressed in usual evening attire, picture the scene, i receive a message saying where was my house, so I say I’m standing at the door just drive past and you will see me when you drive past. So I’m stood in the doorway, scantly dressed and he drives past, looks at me and carries driving. Things were obviously worse than I’d realised. Anyway after much cajoling he came back and it has be said, I didn’t throw him out of bed... no matter how much he pleaded with me to let him go (well it had been a long time and frankly I was gagging for it) so the dilemma is... how do I prepare for the second round? I’m definitely going have shave my legs.... went for a swim yesterday and thought I was emerging from the lack in a mermaid like way, until I looked down at my legs see a bit of seaweed hanging a follicle!!! Not my best look, more creature from the lagoon, than mermaid. Sorry I wandered off there!! So do I my game and put proper clothes , and make , bearing in mind both were woefully lacking the first summons! And he has volunteered for more, Or do I keep him thinking I’m just the slovenly type who doesn’t make it out of pj’s??? just joanna |
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There's a few schoolgirl errors here! First why the hell did you switch from Samsung to iphone. You deserve all you got there...lol Personally, I like the casual look, but the tease is where its at. I like to see my food before I eat it. Therefore Id love to see you dressed, but wearing something that is easily accessible, like a dress, you can keep your knickers off, although commando would have been a nice surprise! Wear a bra, just so I could say. "release the hounds". Dont have the lights on too dim, as I said, I like to see what Im eating.
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