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That is horrible ! WOW, I can't believe that your own mother would do that to you and your children. I think I would have turned right around and left with the kids the minute I saw an ex at my moms house and let them enjoy each others company in private. Geeeez, you are an adult and if you have an ex as you said, it is for a reason. I think that would be the wedge that would do it for me and I would not speak with her again. I am glad that your kids were able to have a Mothers day dinner with you and that things seem to be smoothed out with them and that maybe they understand what happened and why it should not have. And you did manage to get a nice bike ride in as well.
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What's worse is that she's engaging in this family destroying behavior and apparently overlooking how much of an asshat your ex was being to you (or continuing to be) at her house. She's not only insensitive, but also quite obtuse. Good on you for breaking ties until she pulls her head out of her ass.
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While I was reading this and even before I got to the point where you told her you were leaving and wouldn't be back or call, I was thinking that you would probably have to give her that type of option. Either quit with the insanity or you would not be around her. Hopefully she will get the message, although it may take a while. It would not be good to have to cut her out of your life, but you also can't have her trying to control and manipulate your life, either. The part where your ex said "put your kids on a leash"....oh shit. I don't have kids, but I know if someone told me something like that, there would have been some body damage involved. Possibly his nuts removed from his body and handed to him. I'm not normally a violent person, but that's bullshit.
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Oh... my... gosh... ❗ Yep, I felt THAT vibe — although I've never been a part of anything similar. Time heals all wounds and I think NOTHING will change your Mom's belief, but hey, see if she can learn a lesson! Well, ya had a great day with your kids so you're batting 500, and that's a winning percentage — in my books. I get where you're coming from. Count to a couple of hundred. What's with your mom and your ex? 🤔 Maybe you should fill her in? ❗❗😎 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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The answer and your response is simple. 'been there, done that' right? So... Quietly pack up the kids and just leave. Don't say you're leaving and don't take the calls for a few days until you know what you're going to say. The priority celebration of the day was you and the kids, not your mother as she's 'been there, done that' and now you deserve your time as mother. As for mothers, I found it necessary to take control and even treat them like children while your reserve posturing (and language) takes over as the adult. Once you're on your own, your choices ( good or bad ) and wishes in being a mother (women/wife, etc) take priority. Grown children don't deserve anything less - especially with "put your kids on a leash". If mom can't see idiots for who they are, then she shouldn't be allowed to help { regardless of her good intentions } food for thought
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Something I struggled and failed to learn ... It is 100% acceptable to walk away from toxic people. Life is too short to have people trash you and your boys. I allowed family to be cruel, hateful and abusive. I should have walked away. If Mom wants to be toxic, walk. Don't buy into her guilt. Save yourself. Protect yourself. Protect your boys. Hugs!!
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The "need to verbalize" is all too apparent in your blogs - but that "kind-of" was the point. It's the difference between managed and unmanaged responses as it affects the value and outcome of the results. More of a professional strategy to managing people and employees. But you're right, the dynamics vary. Case in point, my sisters notably (must have) enjoyed the antagonistic interaction. Why not, they grew up in it. As an adult, it was my choice to change that interaction with the old lady. And, we got along well with an intellectual connection and mutual respect (even an understanding of the mothering thing). Uncanny how that pissed off my sisters. Life is about choices Make them well . . .
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Sometimes, it's just not worth the effort but I'll leave you with two important facts. The art of conversation and using a vocabulary isn't manipulation, it's called communicating. And that . . . , requires listening (comprehension in the written word)
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Let me go right to the insult - as you will obviously draw your own conclusion in the same way you have in every response to my posts. You don't listen or comprehend! This was obvious from reading your posts. As repeatedly demonstrated, you're an instigator who can't keep her mouth shut because you actually think this is the way humans communicate (only in your world). But you probably find that animosity you create a ray of enjoyment in your life. That's not the worst of it. You do draw your own conclusions made up in a tiny little world where everything is all about you. There is no objectivity in what you think or say because subjective introversion is where you like to live. I'll say it as clear as possible knowing you will still try to make it all about you. The last two sentences where neither instructive or insisting - - - - Not that any of it was - dumbass. They are called "MAXIMS" ! - If you have a dictionary, you can look it up but I can almost guarantee the single definition you look up will not help at all. Its just too far over your head to understand how words have multiple definitions and applications further defined by how they're used in sentences. And that, is a direct observation of your intelligence - or lack thereof. Evident by the inability to comprehend words obviously too big with broader reach when used in full sentences where modifiers tweak their simple meanings into extended definitions you'll never understand. Mostly because we know how you truncate sentences just so you can twist the subject matter into something all about you... patronizing , manipulation , intelligence - damn, buy a dictionary already and try to use it ! You haven't a clue how to use these words or what they really mean . . . .
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