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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved.....

My Ex-Mother in Law  

secret_lade 49F
14389 posts
2/21/2020 3:01 pm
My Ex-Mother in Law

I had a funny post all thought out for today.... I'm going to save it for another time, though.

My after work routine always starts out with stopping at my ex-husband's house to pick up my . We decided long ago that the would get off the bus at his house each day so he would have the ability to see them often.

While there are times he is the last person on earth I want to see, the love him and he does deserve to see them as much as possible, so we make it work.

Today was no exception.

I got off work and headed over to this house. When I pulled into the driveway I saw an unfamiliar car, my first thought was that the white trash girlfriend had bought a new car.

Just great....

I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was my ex-mother in law.

"Oh, Hi! "

"Hello!" She was all smiley, but I could tell she didn't quite recognize me. Her memory has been slipping more lately, but I could see I seemed familiar.

"Do you remember?"

"No, you look familiar though." She was still smiling big at me. My ex-sister in law was sitting next to her on the couch, and she gently asked her who she was just talking about, she had just said my name.

"It's [secret_lade]." I smiled back when I saw her face light up.

"Ooooh!" She got up and started shuffling toward me, outstretched arms. I closed the distance between her and I leaned down to hug her. "Where are you working now?"

I told her where I was working, and what my title was.

"Oooh! That's a good job! You always were a hard worker, I never had to worry about you." She started to shuffle back to her seat on the couch, then turned to look at me again. "Where do you work at now?"

Once again, with the same excitement and tone that I used the first time, I smiled and told her where I was working and what my title was.

"Oooh! That's a good job!"

"Yep! It's one of the better jobs I've had."

Still smiling, I watched her take her seat on the couch. I saw my ex-husband wipe his eyes, he was getting teary eyed. We talked for a few minutes more and I told her I was so happy to see her.

And, I genuinely was.

For a very long time, my ex-mother in law was a very big part of our life. Every Sunday was spent at her home. Every holiday. Every soccer game, she was there. Every hockey game, she was there. Every Christmas program, she was there. Every single birthday from the moment I turned 18, she was there.

My ex-husband is a very emotional person, and the tears were streaming when he walked me to the door. I hugged him too, before I left.

"She looks good! Whether she recognizes people now, or not, doesn't matter. She still remembers them."

"Thank you [secret_lade]."

And then, we were off.

I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling a tad emotional tonight.

This woman would infuriate me a times, and treated me like a at times.... But she was ALWAYS a pillar or strength that I could count on.

I'm so glad to still have her be excited to see me and smile.

justme51 72M

3/1/2020 7:19 am

 Life sucks sometimes


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
2/27/2020 4:44 pm

 A man brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut off my dog's tail?"
The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?"
The man replies, "My mother-in-law is coming to visit. I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome."


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/23/2020 12:04 pm
    Quoting KX450F2016:
    That's great that you were both excited to see each other.... even if she didn't remember you at first. It is tough when families split up. I haven't seen my first mother in law since that divorce, but am friends with first wife.
His family still treats me like family. They knew why I was leaving and knew he had a drinking problem. I never took advantage of him, or the situation, and I fully could have.


KX450F2016 55M
193 posts
2/23/2020 8:48 am

 That's great that you were both excited to see each other.... even if she didn't remember you at first. It is tough when families split up. I haven't seen my first mother in law since that divorce, but am friends with first wife.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:52 pm
    Quoting lonlyforlove2:
    As I go and spend Sunday mornings with my mother , she has gotten to not really know who I am, she turned 100 earlier this month. Often she places me as her older brother, And like you if she asks the question over and over , I just smile and give her the real answer, she does this sometimes She is fairly healthy but her mind is continually slipping into yesteryear. but it always is wonderful to get a hug and a smile.... .
Patience is key.... To her, it's the first time it's been asked, she has no idea. She only turned 83 on her birthday this year, and has been a widow for the last 23 years, so everyone is thankful that she hasn't forgotten that. It makes me smile that she always asks where I'm working now. I had 5 sister's-in-law and I was the only daughter-in-law that had a career. I think she was proud of it.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:44 pm
    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    It's sad when someone you care so much about starts losing their memory and ability to recognize people.
for me, losing my memory would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. I love my memories so much.... Which is why I take so many pictures and post so much stuff on FB. I love being able to go back and remember and relive those experiences.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:42 pm
    Quoting AnewWoman:
    Through my work I've gotten to know hundreds of retired couples over the years. Some for 25 years or more. They might be customers, but they are my friends. I don't keep count, but over the years I've seen dozens go through the memory loss you have described. Having someone answer a door with "Can I help you?" after you have known them for decades literally brings you to tears.
It helps for me to know, she does still remember. She just doesn't recognize me at this current point in time.... In her mind I am a past age and is expecting me to look that way. I look VERY different now than I did even 10 years ago. I only started wearing glasses 3 years ago, and I've started to put on some weight the past 4 years. Even my hair is different as I used to wear it shorter and left it naturally curly. She had asked my ex several times before I got there where I was, and when he's say I was working, she'd ask where I was working. So, she remembers.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:37 pm
    Quoting easy_going2014:
    thanks for sharing this moment

    have a wonderful weekend

You're welcome.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:36 pm
    Quoting h4rry66:
    Thank you for sharing this lovely story beautiful. I can sympathise with your ex as I'm going through something similar with my parents. Its hurtful to see them in that way, but as you said, nice to still have them. I agree that sometimes you dont meet eye to eye, however they definitely have been a pillar of support and having them there means the world to me. You are such a lovely person for the way you conduct yourself. Despite them being your ex, you show respect and offer comfort and support. Hoid on you. Keep it up. Have a lovely weekend x
Thank you so much, that was a very kind compliment. I'm sorry to hear about your parents... I have experienced this before when my grandma had cancer. I was only 19 at the time, and I didn't understand it then when she couldn't recognize me, and felt so hurt.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/22/2020 4:17 pm
    Quoting dayzeeme:
    this brings tears to my eyes, as I miss my ex mother in law a lot more than I want to .. see lived j just up the street from us for 18 years and we saw her a lot. I have not seen her since I moved to my new home over a year ago. I do have lunch with one of her best friends .. it is as much as I can handle now.
I feel for you.... My only family was my ex-husband's family. The people in my own family that were close to me are now passed on as the majority of the family I grew up with were my grandparents and my great aunts and uncles. He would often say "You don't need family, you've got my family." I don't see them often anymore, but when I do, they are still my family.


dayzeeme 55F
7024 posts
2/21/2020 10:35 pm

 this brings tears to my eyes, as I miss my ex mother in law a lot more than I want to .. see lived j just up the street from us for 18 years and we saw her a lot. I have not seen her since I moved to my new home over a year ago. I do have lunch with one of her best friends .. it is as much as I can handle now.


h4rry66 57M

2/21/2020 10:23 pm

 Thank you for sharing this lovely story beautiful. I can sympathise with your ex as I'm going through something similar with my parents. Its hurtful to see them in that way, but as you said, nice to still have them. I agree that sometimes you dont meet eye to eye, however they definitely have been a pillar of support and having them there means the world to me. You are such a lovely person for the way you conduct yourself. Despite them being your ex, you show respect and offer comfort and support. Hoid on you. Keep it up. Have a lovely weekend x


easy_going2014 57M
Ask me for a photo
14366 posts
2/21/2020 9:24 pm

 thanks for sharing this moment

have a wonderful weekend


To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


AnewWoman 65F
273 posts
2/21/2020 6:54 pm

 Through my work I've gotten to know hundreds of retired couples over the years. Some for 25 years or more. They might be customers, but they are my friends. I don't keep count, but over the years I've seen dozens go through the memory loss you have described. Having someone answer a door with "Can I help you?" after you have known them for decades literally brings you to tears.


pagancountrygirl 66F
Ask me for a photo
6466 posts
2/21/2020 6:44 pm

 It's sad when someone you care so much about starts losing their memory and ability to recognize people.
Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


lonlyforlove2 81M  
32704 posts
2/21/2020 6:28 pm

 As I go and spend Sunday mornings with my mother , she has gotten to not really know who I am, she turned 100 earlier this month. Often she places me as her older brother, And like you if she asks the question over and over , I just smile and give her the real answer, she does this sometimes She is fairly healthy but her mind is continually slipping into yesteryear. but it always is wonderful to get a hug and a smile.... .
Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
2/21/2020 6:07 pm
    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I went to see my grandmother when she was in her 90s and I don't remember how many times she asked who I was, but later on she recited a rather long poem she had learned in her childhood about autumn leaves.
I have seen this before, when my grandma had cancer. She is unfamiliar with our present selves.... and remembering us at some point in the past. She had asked my ex 3 or 4 times when I would be home, and he kept saying shortly. She doesn't remember we're divorced, we stopped reminding her. She may not recognize us, but she certainly remembers us.


mc_justmc 63M

2/21/2020 5:45 pm

 I went to see my grandmother when she was in her 90s and I don't remember how many times she asked who I was, but later on she recited a rather long poem she had learned in her childhood about autumn leaves.


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